It's Breast cancer awareness month!

Rah rah rah! Again.

After round five of chemo on Monday, I'm afraid I joined the complainers camp during the HOTTEST WEEK OF THE YEAR! I've been a bit blah blah blah about the whole affair, but after a few days sitting in front of a fan in my pants, I feel like I'm finally getting over the worst. I've got my 'RAH RAH RAH cancer get lost' hat back on.
So this week, I am looking forward to:

• a trip to the Royal London Hospital of Integrated Medicine. (I didn't ever think I would say I was excited about a visit to hospital, but catch up on my post from 12th June to see why this place has more perks.)
• Complementary therapies at the Bromley-by-Bow health centre curtesy of the really great charity, Cancerkin. 
• A trip to Bath for my brother's wedding on Saturday!! Which leads me to my next point...
• Sorting out an outfit for the happy couple's big day. 7 dresses are on the way, oh how I love internet shopping these days.

Other than that, I will hopefully building more strength whilst shouting Rah Rah Rah to encourage myself. You should do the same, it's exhilarating!

All things bright and fruity, all veggies big and small!

As I'm now completely obsessed with anything fruit or vegetable related, I simply couldn't resist this fruit carpet, designed by Villa Eugenie for the Kenzo S/S launch. Read more here.

July

I love it when a good plan comes together. When I saw the following recipe I kind of knew it was going to be a high five moment so here goes, see how you like it! Rice cracker. Peanut butter. Jalapeños. YES!
And more good news, I finished a book in 2 days flat.
Lola first introduced me to Miranda July, and her short stories No one Belongs Here More Than you (a great book) a while ago, so when I saw her name on a friends book shelf I had to borrow. It Chooses You was written when July was procrastinating whilst writing a screenplay The Future. The Penny Savers magazine (equivolent to the Friday Ads in England) was her saviour; as she tired over her script, she would throw her imagination head first in to the lives of the people selling their wares. Sounds like my kind of distraction. Anyway, she took it one step further, this is how cool she is. After taking a particular interest in the seller of the black leather jacket for 10 dollars, she found herself ringing him, asking for an interview. This first interaction lead to the meeting of lots of interesting characters.
Thus I finished it in 2 days flat!
Miranda July has started a new project called We Think Alone. Ever fancied taking a look at a strangers' sent emails. You know, on the tube or something, well now you can! Subscribe here to be sent 20 weeks of 20 people's sent emails every Monday. I've had my first email this week and have already learnt how to become a pro-basketballer! I'll look forward to Mondays for the next 20 weeks I think.

Feel good

After an emotional boost, I feel ready for a creative challenge.
Perfect timing!!! The Feel Good Drinks company launched a poster campaign competition in June which sounds right up my street so I'm looking forward to getting stuck in to a nice and fruitful design.
See here for more details. The closing date is drawing near (30th July) so get your healthy thinking hats on quick.

Don't stew over it

I wasn't intending on having such a philosophical  few days of blogging but I had such an important day at the Haven yesterday that I couldn't possibly not share the news. I used another of my free sessions on a mind and body therapy session and I'm here to sing it's praises. It really honed in on the fact that not only is it true that you are what you eat; but also you are what you think. We have become so used to the idea of stress as being a normal emotion that we are ignoring quite how bad it is for the mind AND THE BODY. 

Although I knew it in the very back of my mind that worrying is a ridiculous past time, try telling me that when it's too late and I've already worked myself in to a tizz about something probably quite petty.

Well, no more! I have learnt a few methods of preventing stress before it settles in. You can actually trick your brain in to thinking you're happy for one, so larf out loud once in a while. Even if your not feeling so giddy, blue even; your brain will release happy hormones just like that. A freebie! It now feels like by not having a giggle it would really be looking at the gift horse in the mouth and I never like doing that.

I have mentioned the Emotional Freedom Technique before, but only to say that it has suddenly found itself in my vocabulary and I've no idea what the 'ell it is. I have now learnt that it combines acupuncture points and affirmation, a very effective tool to reduce stress involving more tricking then treating. Instead of stewing over something, allowing the body to know that your worried and releasing damaging stress hormones at the same time, look at the issue. Head. On. 

Here's how and I warn you it does sound absurd: Grade how worried, scared or angry you are about something from one to ten (ten being boiling point). Now comes the weird part... Think of a 'setup phrase' e.g. (Mine are related to my cancer but it can be absolutely anything) 'Although I am really worried about my next lot of chemotherapy not working and making me feel ill, I love myself and I know it's doing me good'. It usually goes in sets of three so from there: 'Even though I am terrified that I'm putting my body in someone else's hands and feel stressed, I love and accept myself and I know the chemo is doing me good'. Then 'Even though I'm so scared of not being able to finish the treatment because I will get ill, I accept how I feel and love myself anyway'. 

As silly as you may feel, by saying this whilst tapping the following points you're releasing your body's natural energy and allowing it to flow freely. Say the whole thing once whilst tapping the side of your hand, below your little finger. Then repeat the phrases loosely, adding if you want to, whilst tapping the base of your eyebrows, on the bone below your temples, under your eyes, under the nose, on your chin where the crease is, under your collar bone, under your arm (in line with the nipple), and finally top of your head.

Then grade again how worried, scared or angry you are. Really look at how your feeling. You'll be tap, tap, tapping whilst eating your hat from now on because guaranteed the grading will have lowered, even it's only by one.

Kiss it better

I went to see my nephew this week and when his Mumma hurt her finger I noticed he went straight in to kiss it better. It got me to thinking how: a. CUTE that is and b. I really wish you could kiss cancer better. Then I remembered visualisation. You can kiss that nasty disease good riddance! 

When I first got diagnosed the word visualisation was cropping up everywhere and I thought it was a load of nonsense but worth a try. Although there has been no scientific evidence to prove it, they say if you concentrate hard enough on a certain part of your body it can wake up the cells in the area: 'Hey cells, Wakey Wakey! There is an intruder that you really really need to ward off!' (That's putting it very politely.) . 

As I started my chemotherapy on St. George's Day I had a pretty good basis for a story, I was going to kill my very own dragon! I'd sit myself somewhere quiet (that is hard enough in my flat as we live above the NOISIEST nursery) and focus in on the tumour imagining it as a dragon. Well, it started off okay, I'd fantasise a mini me all dressed up in a shiny suit of armour running towards the dragon ready to save the day but then I'd forget about the job in hand. I'd lie there making up the most thrilling tales of heroism but was taking it away from the tumour and living the dream in my head instead.

I've tried quite a few different story ideas for visualisation and my imagination has definitely got wilder but I have never felt it is quite working the way they say it should, so since the sore finger incident I have changed tack. It doesn't have to be quite so dramatic! The simpler the better in fact.

I picture the areas where my cancer is as a black spot. I kiss it and kiss it and kiss it until it starts to change colour - cell by cell - to a much healthier pink. Call me crazy and goodness knows if it works, but it definitely makes me more aware of the tumour. The area does seem to tingle and I'd like to think that's my healthy cells giving a biiig stretch and coming to life. 

You should give it a try. You do feel silly at first, and sometimes it's hard to concentrate. It's like meditation. You can use it anywhere; on the tube, waiting for a hospital appointment even and it really doesn't have to be cancer that you're helping to heal. You could be wanting to cure something as simple as a headache but they say you really can't under estimate the power of the mind!

Apart from getting well and going bananas (please excuse the pun, but it really is annoying) trying to do a seemingly impossible jigsaw of a green grocers - all in the name of healthy eating - this week has been pretty non-plus!! The chemo has really taken it out of me, they did say it is accumulative but I was choosing not to believe them until now...
So, it's a good job I was sneaky and saved my weekend's adventures from your eyes so that I could fill you in and brighten up the mid week bore.
We were lucky enough to go to the David Bowie exhibition at the V&A museum on Saturday. A friends' tickets came our way when the XX festival moved dates, and quite niave to many of his hits and eccentricities, I was really surprised to enjoy it so much. I got a real sense of being in the presence of a star, and man do I want to be a rock star now!!
The new audio system I found very disorientating though, it was sensored so if you move a muscle whilst enjoying a song or introduction you have to move another muscle and start all over again. There was also a LOT of curator's notes so my advice would be to choose which method of learning to go for from the beginning other wise you end up not listening or reading!
Advance tickets have sold out but there is still a chance to see the exhibition if you turn up early enough on the day. Running until 11th August, I'd say sooner the better.
If you find yourself at the V&A and there are no tickets, a brand spanking new exhibition has just opened called the Memory Palace. It is 'a walk-in story that brings to life a new work of fiction by the author Hari Kunzo.' With work from 20 internationally acclaimed illustrators, graphic designers and typographers, it does look worth a trip! I intend to go next week when I'm feeling a bit more up for it so will report back soon.
We finished our day on Greek Street because we were exhausted and hungry. Stumbling across 'London's first vegetarian pub' was such a bonus. Norman's Coach and Horses is an absolute gem, a welcoming pub down stairs (with a piano sing-a-long on Wednesdays and Saturdays) and a quaint 20's stylee tea room and restaurant upstairs. I had tofush and chips with a mound of peas, and maki (coconut rice with fruit centre sushi) for  desert. An imaginative menu and cosy decor makes this a really lovely pit stop in the middle of bustling Soho.

Passing the time

Oh boy! The steroids are keeping me a going and a going tonight. It is generally the day or two after treatment that you feel horrid so here's how I prepare to dodge the immenant side effects (as well as the box sets such as Treme and Mad Men - they definitely help!):

The worst I find is feeling sicky, so I protect the gut with mucilaginous foods. If you can stomach it, slippery elm powder lines the digestive tract, but it is gross. Oats in everything. Leeks and seaweed, my preferred choice also contain mucilages.

For the moments when you feel peckish and pukey at the same time, frozen smoothies packed with fruits are a delight!

I'm a little worried because my acupuncturist has gone away for three weeks but so far I have sworn by an hour of needles and 'whale song' to keep me going. I use sea sickness bands that you can get from most big supermarkets which I have found very helpful too.

A sore mouth is another hurdle which I don't enjoy but I get over it by applying pineapple or papaya to the ulcers. Their protein enzymes break them down and they sure are a delicious cure. I'd compare it to having Calpol as a child but wouldn't go quite as far as faking it to have some!

Exercise is very important, even when all you want to do is liiieeee in beddddd. It gets the drugs pumping round the body and I promise makes you feel a lot better! When I'm feeling pretty rubbish I do three ten minute walks.

I'm going to channel my steroid infused high elsewhere now so I'm ready to practice what I preach tomorrow, so until next time...

Round 4: Cancer you are going downnn!

I'm in hospital for round 4 of chemotherapy and I'm absolutely freezing! To reduce the risk of hair loss I have opted to use the 'cold cap'. A spectacular contraption that reaches minus 6 degrees, aiming to restrict the blood flow to the fast growing hair cells so they are not affected by the drugs. It is only 50% effective though and you have to wear it every time the drugs are administered. It is cold, I was warned by my doctor that some people find it unbearable, but if you are worried about hair loss there is no harm in trying.
Unfortunately, I have a tiny head and I was given a normal-person sized cap the first time I came for chemotherapy so it hasn't really worked for me - I had to shave my hair - so it is definitely worth checking that the cap is tight enough. I still have some hair and I want to hold on to it so I'm carrying on, this time with a teeny cap.
Patti Smith is keeping me company with her fabulous autobiography 'Just Kids'. She tells an inspiring tale if ever I did hear one. My sister of Lola Piccolola is also here keeping me generously supplied with healthy snacks and stories.
It's really not all that bad!

Other crafty news, I have been busy juicing (a seriously super way of getting in your five a day) and making more artwork with the left over pulp. My header at the moment is a mixture of berries and pineapple pulp topped with melon triangles.
Annoyingly my computer has broken so I can't upload this mornings' creations but watch out for more coming soon.
I'm also off to art therapy at St. Barth's hospital this afternoon. I'm a little shy for it I think but after watching Mad Men's Betty glamourously pouring her heart out to her counsellor I might change my tack and go for it! Her cigarette is my paint brush.

As part of Clerkenwell Design Week last month, I saw an exhibition that I've not been able to stop thinking about. Design Exquis is 'inspired by the collective method of creation, developed by the Surrealists, known as Esquisite corps'. Using the notion not dissimilar to the game Consequences (a great story-telling game in itself) curators Florian Dussopt and Geraldine Vessiere set four artists a challenge. The first is given an object which is chosen for its design qualities, they have to respond to this by developing a piece of art work. On completion their work is then passed on to the next artist for them to use as inspiration for their creation, and so on.
A mixture of Florian's whole-hearted enthusiasm in explaining the exhibition and the fascinating response to the challenge from the artists made this a must see. Luckily, the next exhibition is on its way. The next Design Exquis will be showing at the Roca London Gallery, 7th September - 16th November.
Until then, I have organised my own Equisite corps between my pals. I am kicking things off this week and am passing my piece on today. Exciting! I already can't wait to see the results.

Oxfordshire was great. This weekend I've been celebrating the English countryside, the only place where children clap with glee on receiving a 99er in the rain. I found Stratford particularly gorgeous with its cobbley streets and sloping rooftops. We saw a deer out of our bedroom window and felt charmed by the nature. It was an idyllic trip.
My one issue was eating out. Since my diagnosis I have nosed dived my head in to a hundred books on what not to eat and which foods can help kick this to the curb. At home, I have stuck to what I have found out (which I intend to share) and have found it relatively easy, but eating out is difficult. I have given up dairy but no restaurant wants to help me carry this out. I will plan better next time I think. If I'd have taken healthy snacks around with me I wouldn't have had to have a slice of peanut butter stack (eek!).
We have decided there definitely will be a next time. Just an hour outside of every city I'm sure, there will be country side. Its slow pace and colourful background leaves you feeling so relaxed, I think even a weekend would be enough.
Back amongst the commuters and traffic now though, ready to explore London some more and catch up on my cancer admin. Next issue: sort. out. wig!

Wow! If Agnetha: Abba and After (the first half at least) isn't enough to put you in a good mood - plus a weekend to boot -then I don't know what is?! A light hearted documentary that covers the careers of four ordinary Swedish town folk come hugely talented pop legends of the 70s. It ends with the story of how an unlikely (and sadly very cheesy) duet with Gary Barlow comes about for Agnetha after over twenty years out of the lime light.
Sweden's blonde bombshell came across beautifully. She lives a modest life nowadays but here's some undeniably cool photographs to remind you of her colourful career, courtesy of Last FM.

Wishing you all very good weekend! I'm off to Oxfordshire for a few days. After everything I said yesterday about loving my city, well I'm also very fond of the countryside. With all the talk of infections during chemotherapy I just love to breath the clean, fresh air.

I have a new hobby!
N.B. My choice of picture for my first cross-stitch was intentional. I'm pushing healthy eating. Go eat some carrots.

A talk at the Bloomsbury Institute tonight titled 'Cities are Good for You' got me to thinking why I love living in a city so much and what keeps me in London despite the smog and crowds. Here are the results in no particular order - 

1. Architecture. The Lesser Known Architecture exhibition at the Design Museum will make you see buildings in a different light if you haven't been converted already. 2. Our daily bread. The E5 bakery sells the tastiest loaves for really reasonable prices, find out more here. 3. Impossibly stylish people, brought to us this week by The Sartorialist. 4. A constant supply of good art, my favourite at the moment being the Souzou exhibition at the Wellcome Collection. A gorgeous collection of work that really grabs your attention.  It's a debut for Japanese 'outsider art' in the UK and it finishes on the 30th June so get down there quick. 5. Strokes of genious (or madness); I really like the sound of this grass-free park. A floral, scented lawn planted in West London claims to provide a friendlier habitat for pollinating insects. 6. I can get sushi whenever I damn well please, enough said. 7. More well dressed folk, found by the Style Scout. With so many vintage markets and endless highstreets for a playground, there's not much excuse for anything else! 

So what keeps you in the city? Or is it the rolling hills of the country side that puts a smile on your face?!

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Today I have been to Haven, a charity-led breast cancer support centre in Fulham. I took part in the young persons support group, one of the many groups and workshops run at the centre. I found it surprisingly rewarding speaking so openly to people that are going / have been through cancer. There were lots of different stories told.
I also used one of my ten free sessions on an hour of pure indulgence; reflexology leaves me feeling weak at the knees giddy, it's divine. There is a huge choice of complementary therapies from reiki to emotional freedom therapy (that's a new one on me!).  I had an initial appointment with a doctor who talks through each and helps choose the best therapies best for you.
It's a really lovely place but busy so appointments are for quite a way in to the summer.

I've had a busy few days of extra curricular anti-cancer activities and I'm feeling good. Yesterday I visited the Royal London Hospital for Intergrated Medicine to learn about mistletoes and it turns out there's more to the plant than a Christmas kiss.
Mistletoe extract, also known in the medical world as Iscador was first used to treat cancer in the 1920's. It's main aim is to support the body's own defence system but may also have some effect in directly combating cancerous cells. Its a complementary therapy and by no means claiming to be a cancer cure, but some studies have indicated an improvement in the survival time when Inscador is added to more conventional treatment. The only thing is, the most popular method of administration is by injection. By yours truly. Gulp!
The hospital itself is a fascinating place so I'm glad I came across it from hearing about Iscador; it's quite well hidden. It's managed by the NHS but it seems more affable than your average hospital. They intergrate the best of conventional and complementary treatments for all sorts of complaints such as IBS and depression. The Dr's rooms were covered in plants and it felt like a healthy environment to be in.
You have to be referred by your doctor and they will need to write to the Royal London Hospital for Integrated Medicine, Complementary Cancer Care Clinic, 60 Great Ormond Street, WC1N 3HR.
It's relatively safe method of therapy so it seems like a no brainer to me. People have started coming up to me on the street and kissing me though, and it's making me blush!!

Before I was ill I'd play silly games to decide my own fate: if my rubbish landed in the bin then I'd have another choccy, or if I could be the first on the steps coming off the tube I'd be in for a good night. That sort of thing. 
Like most things, these superstitions have become a bit more cutting now: I was given some peonies last week and besides 'what gorgeous flowers and what a lovely gesture', I thought nothing of them. Now, after a trip to the Royal College of Physicians garden things have changed. I found out peonies are called peonies after Peon, the physician to the Gods. Somehow (in my maybe not too serious mind) this means I'm going to be well looked after all of a sudden and I'm going to live! Hurray! 
I wonder whether the sender of the peonies knew she was giving such a gift as life. I doubt it but I'm going to take great delight in telling her...